Running as Root

The Exorcism of Emily Rose – 1 out of 5 stars

I will start by saying that I'm agnostic with heavy atheistic leanings so I'm not really all that wow'ed by the events portrayed in the movie, which claims to be based on a true story. A good starting point for learning the factual side of the background story may be found on Wikipedia. Some of the key points are that these events took place two years after the release of the Exorcist while the country was in the middle of a "paranormal panic" and that the church later stated that she was in fact not possessed. That being said, I'll review this like I would a movie about Santa Claus or the tooth fairy–on its entertainment value alone.

It sucked. It is a movie with a severe identity crisis–as if possessed by two bad film makers. On the one hand it wants to be a spooky horror film while on the other it tries to be a court room drama. It does neither very well. The attempts at horror fall pretty flat with the most scary moments being her envisioning people as demons that appear more like hissing cats than anything particularly scary. The court room scenes are too busy vilifying the prosecutor and medical science's explanation of the phenomena that were (supposedly) witnessed to build any real drama.

I, of course, am biased as I stated before. I find myself leaning more and more to the atheist position on a daily basis. This is coupled with my loss of faith in human beings to tell fact from fiction. The film industry's increasing ability to portray anything and everything with amazing degrees of realism only further serves to loosen peoples' already tentative grip on reality. I would not be shocked to learn that just as many people believe in hobbits as angels and UFOs.

Undiscovered – 2 1/2 out of 5 stars

It doesn't sound like a ringing endorsement, but this movie was not as bad as I expected and not as good as it could have been. Ashlee Simpson is in it, but she's a non-factor–mainly background noise. Most of the story revolves around the characters of, and I kid you not, Brier Tucket and Luke Falcon. It's like the guy came up with the name Jericho Cane in End of Days got a permanent gig inventing cheesy movie names.

The movie is a love story between a struggling musician and a model turned actress in Los Angeles. Steven Strait plays the musician and does his own vocals for the songs. He does a pretty good job, but I must say that the song selection (not sure if they're his) suck a little too hard for me. Wasting surprising vocals (though not astounding) on bad music, intrusive directing at times, and ultimately failing to make you care much about what happens to the characters are where this film drops the ball. It just should have been better. Still, given that this is only his second film (he was also in Sky High as Warren Peace) I think Steven Strait may develop into a pretty talented actor if he can start picking slightly better roles with better character names. Maybe something like Dan German or Johnny Hammer.

Rebound – 1 1/2 out of 5 stars

This is a typical "worst to first" movie. Martin Lawrence is temporarily banned from the NCBA (the movie version of the NCAA) until he proves he can control his temper. He takes a job coaching middle school basketball for a team that not only hasn't won a game, but has also failed to score a point. He then whips them into shape, blah blah blah. It's a laugh an hour tale of how he teaches them how to be winners while they teach him how to be a better person. I didn't have to stop watching it in the middle, so that's a plus. As a side jab, there's a small segment where Lawrence tries to play another whacky character (some out of place, non-funny preacher) which only led me to further latch on to my theory that Martin Lawrence is a cheaper version of Eddie Murphy without the talent or humor. I would watch this movie only if someone else rented it and insisted on showing it.

Four Brothers – 4 out of 5 stars

This is a story about four adopted brothers trying to get to the bottom of their mother's murder. This is a surprisingly good movie. It has a lot of humorous moments between the brothers, but more importantly it has some very sweet, gritty revenge violence. You have got to like that. There's more than a little gun play and a fairly nice car chase in it. The action has a very real feel to it. But, beneath the violence there is a very real layer of emotion. There are several scenes in the movie where you find yourself really sharing the anger of the main characters. I'd have to give this one a "strong" on the recommendation rating.

Serenity – 3 1/2 out of 5 stars

This is the movie continuation of the series Firefly. I never watched the series, so I didn't really bring any fond memories into this movie. It definitely felt like it was part of a bigger story with pre-developed characters and probably had a few running plot lines that I am not familiar with. Still, it was an action packed space adventure with nice special effects and above average fight choreography. The creators did a good job of not leaving people who didn't watch the series behind.

The basic plot is a young girl that is a psychic super weapon that has learned a secret that the dominant government doesn't want to get out. The rest of the movie is the small crew of a ship of mercenaries running from the man as they try to discover the secret and eventually attempt expose the nasty truth. Like I said, the high points of the movie are the special effects and the fight scenes. Definitely worth renting, probably more so if you watched the series.

The Brothers Grimm – 2 1/2 out of 5 stars

This movie is about the Grimm brothers as traveling con-artists that make money defeating their own made up ghosts and witches. They then get roped into trying to defeat an authentic witch in a haunted forest. Throughout the movie, they drop passing references to situations that are supposed to be the origins of their later fairy tales. These references were sporadic and disconnected. They made the first part of the movie not flow very well at all. The special effects were adequate, there were a few decent funny moments, and there was nothing fundamentally wrong with the story, but ultimately it failed to grab me. It's another movie that I would rate as "watchable" but I wouldn't go out of my way to see it.

Must Love Dogs – 3 out of 5 stars

This is a mostly run of the mill romantic comedy that tries to sneak in some deep philosophical points on love and life. It's still very watchable, but doesn't really do it for me on the romantic or the comedy. I'm much bigger on the 40 Year Old Virgin when it comes to romantic comedies, though Lisa insists it wasn't romantic. WTF does she know? Anyway, John Cusack is good as always, so it's worth watching for his unique delivery if you're a fan, though Serendipity is better in this genre.

The one part of the movie that got tired very quickly is the classic "date from hell" snippets they kept throwing in. Most of them weren't terribly funny and every rom-com seems to do it. In closing, Lisa liked it more than me, but less than Serendipity.

Pretty Persuasion – 2 out of 5 stars

This movie is a cross between Wild Things and Jawbreaker in a lot of ways. Ultimately it is not as entertaining as Jawbreaker. I'd say the problem lies mainly toward the end of the movie. It had problems wrapping things up in a satisfying way. Up until that point it was funny and entertaining in a dark kind of way.

It's about a 15 year old girl that is supposed to be very intelligent and in charge of her own sexuality, both of which she uses to manipulate everyone around her. This eventually leads to accusations of sexual misconduct against one of her teachers. Blah blah blah. James Woods is in it. Skip it and rent Jawbreaker if you haven't already seen it. Whether or not you like it, it is more of the movie Pretty Persuasion was trying to be.

Danny Deckchair – 1 1/2 out of 5 stars

This is a movie about a guy with a crappy little life that, on a whim, decides to tie a bunch of helium balloons to a deck chair. He gets swept off to a different part of the country (England) and starts a new, better life. It's mildly amusing in parts, but overall, I can't see many people investing the time to watch it. The entertainment to time ratio is pretty low with so many other good titles out there.

Blackball – 2 1/2 out of 5 stars

This is one of those movies that takes a little-known sport (bowls) and tries to turn it into a kind of parody of dramatic sports movies. While this was also done with Men with Brooms and the sport of curling, the king of this genre is of course Dodgeball (while the worst may be Long Shot Kids–which I have still never seen).

It's not a terrible movie. It has a good number of entertaining spots, but ultimately it cannot hope to deliver as well as Dodgeball in my opinion. If you pride yourself on seeing quirky, obscure movies then by all means rent it. It'll provide a couple of bucks worth of entertainment.