About

My name is Robert Simmons. If you Google the name, you'll find me somewhere around page 100. Yeah, I'm that Robert Simmons. Impressed?

Family

I'm married. To a woman. My family is crazy and I think I might be adopted. My wife often assures me that I'm not (her family is crazy, too). We have three dogs. I take a lot of photos. You can see these on my Flickr account. Please. No masturbating.

Work

I'm a computer programmer that works mostly in Java and mostly on web applications and mostly in Austin, TX. I've been pursuing this line of money making for around 15 years. This means I'm going to start being the "old guy" on most teams. I'm not interested in being a full time manager (though I do enjoy the software process) so I guess I'd better get used to it. I'm a big fan of the Agile methodology, open source, Java, and Linux in all its buttery goodness.

Hobbies

I have a lot of hobbies I don't spend enough time pursuing. I play guitar (including classical), am trying to learn piano, wish I knew Mandarin, play a small amount of video games, secretly wish I'd get off my ass and write a book, wish I knew more about Blender and Inkscape, want to start too many open source projects to count, and am trying to learn to draw every now and then. Ultimately I play a metric shit ton of video games on the XBox 360, mostly Call of Duty. My gamertag is Wyscan.

I go to Walt Disney World several times a year to take my frustrations out on the people in those ridiculous costumes, though I secretly wish they'd let me into their clique.

I used to spend a lot of time on Jyte making remarks that would either keep me from ever getting a job or land me in a year long sensitivity training course. It's all in good fun. And fun is what it's really all about, isn't it?

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